Seriously?

I have a minor issue with thinking that people don’t take me seriously, which is funny because I’ve always been an old soul and a pretty serious person.  I just feel like people look at me as if I’m too young to relate to them.  Maybe it’s because I have a pretty young-looking face, which I’ve been told is a compliment, but I swear this has back-fired for me at times.  For example, when I was about 21 years old, I had to have an ultra sound performed on my chest (luckily, I was fine). There was a lady I knew from church sitting in the waiting room, and I swear she was giving me the “oh, you’re that kind of Catholic school girl” look as I nervously waited my turn.  I wanted to say to her, “I’m here for an ultrasound on my boobs, not because I’m pregnant.”  After the procedure (or maybe it was before?  I may look young, but my mind is not as sharp as it once was!), I went to the front desk to take care of paperwork and the receptionist asked to see my driver’s license and then said, “well, that is if you even have one.”  My reply was “yes, not only can I drive, but I can also vote, and get this, I can drink too!”  I’m sure I didn’t say it sarcastically, but that’s what it sounded like in my mind!  Again, I should be so thrilled she thought I was that young and yadda yadda yadda, but I wasn’t.  When were people going to see me for my actual age?

I got engaged a few months after graduating from college and thought perhaps this would be the moment people would take me seriously.  Wrong.  At the time, I had just started working at an entertainment public relations firm.  Most of the people I worked with were older than me, and partly as a result of the grueling work schedule, were single.  So, here I was, a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 22 year old, newly graduated from college, and engaged.  I knew I was going to get the third degree about being too young to get married so I didn’t wear my engagement ring, or tell anyone I was engaged for about a week.  I felt like I would be rubbing it in the faces of some of the girls who I knew longed for a long-term relationship with something other than their jobs. 

Soon after my wedding, I was offered a job at my former high school.  The position was Director of Development – my position at the PR firm at the time was Assistant.  Talk about a big title jump!  After much thought, I declined the offer because I just didn’t feel comfortable with such a big position that came with a lot of responsibility, including raising approximately $6 million dollars for a new science building at the school.  I imagined being at meetings with super important, and old, people and having them look at me like, “when is the real Director coming?” 

Before I declined the Director position, I had people in my corner encouraging me to accept that offer.  Part of me thought perhaps I was selling myself short by not getting out of my comfort zone and finding out my real potential.  While that may have been true, and I could have tapped into a new side of me, I knew in my heart of hearts that if I couldn’t take myself seriously in that position, how could I expect others to?

Wait a minute - perhaps that’s the real underlying issue!  Could it be that the problem isn’t with other people’s perception of me, but my perception of myself?  Hmm, I may be onto something with that idea, and I’m saving so much money by being my own therapist!  Seriously.  There, I said it.